Princess Butt!

OMG, the excitement continues to grow exponentially!  Now, courtesy of the same paparazzi-snapped photos that brought us the princess baring her boobs to sun and husband, we might actually be able to see her ASS!!!

Where’s the
butt picture???

I get a kick out of using clip art to illustrate my blog posts, but this is what happened when I went searching for a butt:

So I thought I’d get a bit medical.  Buttocks?  Nothing.

How about a euphemism?  Rear end?  Nada.

A little slang, then?  Ass?  Not one.  (I thought at least I’d get a donkey or two.)

This development has changed the direction of my post.  I’d planned to wax poetic about the beauty of the human derrière, the way I did in my last post about the lovely form and function of a woman’s breasts.  But instead I’m feeling pissed off that someone else has decided what images are ‘suitable’ for my clip art choices.

Just for the hell of it, I looked up pissed off.  Zippo.

Why is the human butt not suitable?  My guess is that some administrative types decided that clip art should be ‘clean’ of lascivious attractions.  For example, little Ricky doing his book report might get side-tracked by the uncontrollable urge to look at some hiney.  And I guess their logic is that parents catching little Ricky looking at hiney does not reflect well on the company that sold them the means (also called ‘blame the messenger’).  Like little Ricky doesn’t see plenty of hiney (and booby) selling burgers on prime time TV?

My point is, what is the point exactly of this kind of ridiculous censorship?  I blame the messenger for that.

Foot fetishists adore feet, and there are plenty of those in clip art.  Little Ricky just might develop a foot fetish after viewing these beauties:

Shoe fetishists crave shoes, and clip art is rampant with them.  Little Ricky might welcome the chance to accompany Mom to the Macy’s shoe section if it means more of this:

Pedophiles hunt for kid pix, and needless to say, those were endless.  But I’m not even gonna go there with pictures.  I might be accused of trying to attract pedophiles to my blog.  Hey, they’ve got clip art!  What do they need me for?

The bottom line is that it’s really difficult to make sense of our culture’s obsession/revulsion with sexuality.  A healthy interest is what we should desire. Sexuality, in all its beauty and complexity, is how we propagate our species.  It puts us back in touch with our primal animal bodies.  It allows us to form the most intimate of heart connections with another.  It’s a pathway to ecstasy, and for some, even spiritual bliss.  And little Ricky looking for some booty pix is just the earliest manifestation of children’s normative sexual curiosity.

In my book in progress about food, sex and relationship, Licking the Spoon, I discuss the impact of the types of images and messages that both children and adults receive about sex.

Sex is one of the most powerful aspects of our mysterious life force.  To treat it as if our natural interest is somehow perverse and must be protected against, while bombarding us with images that are in fact distorted (like the boob-job blonde having an orgasm while eating a 1500 calorie meal), is not helping us to be a healthy culture, sexually or otherwise.

But back to the butt for a minute.  A fine pair of buns is indeed another of nature’s miracles.  I hope the prince enjoys the view and supports his bride, especially if she is criticized by his rather tight-lipped grandmother.